Mine.
I have been having a really hard time with her crying lately. The other night, I put her down in her crib for bed. She'd been fed, changed, burped; she was just tired. And yet, when I came downstairs and heard her screaming on the monitor, I could barely stand it. Now, it had been a pretty emotional day already, but her crying brought me to tears! She sounded scared. I hated the thought that she might wonder why I wasn't coming to her rescue.
But the other part of my brain doesn't want to teach her that all she has to do is cry to get her way. I don't know if she can even think that way yet... She's going to be six months next week. I want her to learn that bedtime is bedtime. When she goes down, she's down for the night. But the way she cries is nearly unbearable! Am I just too faint hearted? Advice anyone?
I want to "grow up" to be a good mom! I want to raise a daughter who knows her boundaries and is a joy to have around. It's just more complicated than I anticipated, and she's not even one year old!
Oh Jana! I wish I had some wonderful sage advice for you, but I'm right there with you. And from what I hear, it just keeps getting more complicated. I am praying for you and would love it if you could do the same for me. He alone knows exactly what both we and our children need!
ReplyDeleteDearest Friend O' Mine...
ReplyDeleteYou know your own baby's cries best and can feel free to follow your knowing ears on that one.
However... if you really think it is indeed YOUR growing pains, I feel for ya. It's one of the hardest things to do what you believe is the right thing to do when it isn't comfortable.
I'll be praying for you!
Zachary was my hardest in that department, and not just because he was first, but because he was my most determined baby (so far). He would fight those "I want to be in charge" battle longest and fiercest! I cried too.
Often if AJ wasn't there, it was very helpful to call him just to hear him tell me " you're doing the right thing honey - stick with it no matter what. It's for that little fellas best in the long run though he doesn't know it now."
Just tell Jon before-hand that you're going to need some of those pep-talks when you call him in tears ;-)
I love ya!
-Me
Thank you, thank you, my friends.
ReplyDeleteShauna, Jon & I prayed for you last night. Divine wisdom seems to be in high demand when raising little ones!
Miss Momma Bug, your experience is invaluable. I think what I need wisdom in is being confident of my assessment of her cry. If I am confident she is digging in for a battle of the wills, then I can be confident in my course of action (even if it still brings me to tears!). Thank you for the advice. It is definitely a good idea for me to share ahead of time that I need "pep talks" with Jon. He's great at them when he knows I need them. (Should have seen him while I was in labor....pep talking every 2 minutes!!) Sigh. I sure wish I could explain to her that what I do IS for her own good.
You know Jana, being a momma in a way that honors the Lord is sometimes a guessing game every day.
ReplyDeleteI still question some of those cries, and of course every baby is different too. Susanna was the most colicky baby. Seriously - she would cry for hours, and there was not relief I could give her. In hind sight I might do some things differently with one child and another.
Sometimes it helps to remember that waiting till baby is a little older and you are a little more sure is fine. I would encourage you that if you think Evy is showing some will, you will have to fight that battle sooner or later. It will likely be a longer feircer battle later, but you might be more ready to stand your ground.
All I say is that if it's a will thing, she might "grow out of it" but it will manifest itself in other ways ;-} That can be fun!!!
Just don't let your emotions rule you, but it's a good and prudent idea to use your conscience and senses to determine your action somewhat.
I'll keep thinking on this one, and if you're going to pray for Shauna, I'd covet your prayers. I don't think those issues get easier with more - just viewed a bit differently because of experience. I'd love to hear how things progress and what you are thinking.
Love ya!
-me
I am SOOO looking forward to visiting with you in the near future (near is a relative term, right? :P)!! It's so encouraging to hear your perspective.
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