...more of a "woe is me" day

Those pesky hormones! Sometimes I wish they were less powerful. I'm sure women would lose much of what is captivating and beautiful about us without them, but I am also convinced they are somehow linked to our sinful nature. Perhaps not the cause of it....but fuel for it? Definitely!!

Well, that's quite a preface, eh? Today was a day full of tears...many of them Momma's! That lump in my throat just wouldn't go away til I'd had myself a good cry. And boy did I! ...while washing dishes (after putting the girls down for a MUCH needed early bedtime). I've cried over dishes before, I'm pretty sure. These were not tears of self pity (I don't mind dishes THAT much). They were tears of "I'm seeking You now at the end of this hard day, but why can't I seem to seek You in the midst of the hard stuff!" and then they were tears of "Jesus, thank you so much for wiping my slate clean yet again." ...and then tears of longing and joy for my next home! I never used to long for heaven as I do now. I believe being a mom opened my eyes wider to the "fallen-ness" of this world.

I'm so thankful for the evenings. At the very least, they are a recharge--a time for me to get things straight in my head again! The tears in the middle of the day were frustrating, but the evening tears were cleansing.

Being a mom forces me to really SEE myself. Before my girls, the people in my life didn't reflect back my character to me. I would get feedback here and there for sure, but it was easier to shrink away from if I didn't like what I saw. But children are a different story! My girls see my every move. They mirror my actions...my emotions...my reactions! If I'm short with Evie, she's short with Libby! And when they're not mirroring, how they are generally coping with the day is a direct reflection on me. It's incredible and inescapable. I'm forced to take a goooood look at little 'ol me. Phew. That can be rough!

But I'm convinced I've "grown up" more since my girls were born. And THAT is a good thing! I'm so so so thankful God blessed me with these two precious girls. I'm growing because of them (or at least learning that I need to grow!). AND they bring untold amounts of joy into my daily life. (can't seem to get this app to upload videos, but I captured Libby discovering the baby in the mirror for the first time today! Hilariously adorable!!)

Here's to hormones, children, crying, and dishes!

And here are a few pics from the day before the tears began to flow... :)

that sunset sure seems to come early these days!