No Sweeter Smell...

...than the top of my little girl's head. No matter how the rest of her smells (and that sure does vary!), her head is that delicious, sweet baby smell. My heart does a flip flop when I look at her and experience a flood of new mom love. I'm pretty sure Jesus expanded my heart to hold all the instant love that I felt when I held her in my arms the day she was born. 

No matter how overwhelmed I feel with the responsibility and reality of being a new mother, this love for her fills my mind and pushes out those negative thoughts when I think on her...or receive one of her surprising smiles. They suddenly light up her face like a little switch flipped inside. 

But those overwhelmed thoughts do come. They chase away my trust in God. I begin to think of what it will be like in 5 years when I have to begin schooling her. I think about what it will be like when we have more children. I think about how on earth I am going to make use of my nursing degree when I want to be a full time mom. 

Too much to think about at one time. It would overwhelm anyone. 

My God is so good to me in spite of myself. Recently, He reconnected me with an old friend from high school. She got married a few years before Jon and I. AND she's a young mother of 3 with one on the way! She just happened to have struggled with similar thoughts as she became a mother and was able to share just what I needed. Her encouragement came at the perfect time, and I know God arranged it. 

After quite a dry spell, I'm trying to tune my ear to the Lord's voice once more. I'm asking Him to help me. I'm realizing that (of course) I cannot do this well without Him.