A little plug...

My sister in law, Ty, has started a little used clothing & accessories store on Instagram. She has some super trendy stuff! Follow her at Bowtythrifter to check it out! 

Tonight's Thoughts

I'm melancholy tonight. I'm going to remind myself that most of it is probably hormones. But because that doesn't actually take away the feelings, I'm going to explore them a bit. 

Why? Why am I so short-tempered with my big girls this evening? Why do I feel incompetent for not knowing what my baby needs to get to sleep? Why do I feel so small and meaningless in this world tonight?

Probably because of hormones. 

But maybe it has something to do with a few other things. 

Maybe it has to do with seeing that a girl that looked up to me in high school is recently married to a man that shares her passion to share Jesus with the lost. They just arrived in Uganda where they are building a playground for street children and interning with local midwives. 

That's pretty close to what I dreamed of doing way back in high school. Where did I end up? 

I'm a mom to three little girls. They take everything out of me every day. It's a full time job. There is no energy left for other "ministries" at the end of the day. No glamorous trips to foreign countries to serve. No using of the degree I worked so hard to complete. 

I dreamt of one thing and am living another. 

Sigh. 

As I sat on my cozy bed, changing one more diaper this evening, I pondered these things. Who sees what I do here? Often no one. If I was in Africa, everyone would know what I was doing. "Oh? My daughter, Jana? She's a missionary in Africa..." Hmm. How much of my dream was just for the pride of it all? Was there much of Christ in my motives? It's hard to remember. 

But now. I change diapers for the needy and helpless. I make meals for the toddler who really isn't grateful. (Don't get me wrong, I am trying to train for that, but at this age, she knows nothing else but being waited on.) I wipe a potty trainer who can't do it herself yet. They feel entitled to my help, not grateful. They know nothing else, and I don't wish them to. I don't want them to know what it's like to call for mom and not have her come. 

But it occurred to me that in one sense, being a stay at home mommy is a lowly job. Society places virtually no value on it. To them, children belong in daycare and school. There is no need for a woman at home. And those children, whom we serve, also place little value on it when they're small. 

Perhaps, by being a stay at home mom, I am closer to Christ than I would be if I knew the "glamor" of the foreign mission field. Perhaps, my role humbles me more here. 

I believe many other moms wiser than myself have meditated on this subject before it ever occurred to me. 

I hope that the Lord will keep my heart soft enough to be touched by these thoughts. I hope that He will help me to avoid the trap of seeing my job as society does instead of how He does. I hope He will help me know Him better as I walk a path out of the spotlight. I hope my children will somehow grow to love Him through this process. 

Thankfully, my husband truly values what I do. He says over and over how he couldn't live his life at all the same without my willingness to serve him and our girls...how he needs me to do this for him. That is balm in times where it's hard to see my purpose and value. 

I wonder how I will view all this in 20 years when age has (hopefully) brought wisdom. 

The Lord is good to give me such sweet faces to enjoy in this process. My heart aches with the love of this girl 

Speaking of that girl, she just woke up from a cat nap. Duty calls. 

Happy 4 Months, Lucy Girl!

Airstream bassinet

Lucy needed her own spot in the airstream. Our improvised sleeping arrangements were getting old for everyone. So, my man set about figuring out a solution for her! It's just perfect. Her own little nest!

Once he finished building it, he asked me to figure out how I would like it finished. I did a little thinking and decided to try a stain I found on Pinterest. There were many links about, so I read a bunch and took the high points from them all. 

To make the initial stain, I poured white vinegar over a pad of steel wool and let it sit for about 3 days. I was going to test it after 24 hrs, but it got set aside in favor of other activities...you know, the feeding the children & keeping the house kind. :)

The initial concoction:

One site recommended painting the wood with black tea first. The vinegar solution reacts with the tannins in the wood to create the color change, but some wood doesn't have enough tannins in it to elicit the reaction. That's where the tea comes in. Black tea has plenty of tannins. Here is my test strip of fir with varying coats of tea painted on prior to the vinegar solution:

Here is the pine test (pine has very little tannins):

The bassinet was made with fir, and I didn't like how dark the test strip was. I had do to a little alchemy to get it to the color I wanted. I ended up dilution the vinegar solution 100:1 with water before I got the color I wanted. Also, I didn't use any tea! 

Here is the finished project:

The top edge is actually naturally weathered scrap wood, so you can see what a great color match it ended up being!

Here's Lucy checking it out:

And here's how it fits right by our bed. Please excuse the messy bed and improvised headboard. (There is a real headboard in the works in the near future.)

"Mom, I'm trying to nap here!"

Obviously, this is a temporary solution, since the sweet sprout will be getting pretty mobile soon, but I love it for now! Thank you, husband, for taking the time to make Lucy a bed!!

I'm noticing a theme...

How about you?

Travels

We are a pretty nomadic family these days. I love all the adventures! Here are some pictures from our roamings this spring.

Grandpa holding Lucy for the first time:

 Grandma and Lucy bonding:

Mother's Day:

My cabbage patch baby doll from my childhood and my REAL cabbage patch baby!

Beautiful Cannon Beach wit Haystack rock in the background:

More beach:

Tillamook Cheese Factory. It was fun to see the big cheese assembly line and to sample the cheese curds that squeak on your teeth!

Sweet sisters. I love these little girls!

Hodge Podge of Life

Life is busy with 3 littles girls. It's starting to sink into a rhythm though. Lucy is sleeping in a pretty consistent pattern at night. I'm usually only up twice with her! She's starting to smile and coo a lot more, to the delight of everyone, especially her big sisters! Baby girl will be 2 months old on Sunday!! How does time go by so fast when you have a newborn?? Can I still call her a newborn?

In addition to all the new routine changes, I added potty training Libby to the mix. Am I nuts? Glutton for punishment? Ha. Maybe. But so far so good. She seems to be getting the hang of it. This is perhaps due to the fact that she is extremely motivated by jelly beans. I guess that's one of the bonuses of not giving your kids candy normally. It's such a novelty for her now! She can squeeze out a few drops every half hour if need be to get that "Delly bean!" Hopefully that will translate soon into a general desire to take care of all that business the way us other "potty trained" folks do. I remind myself that I did successfully potty train one girl already, so it can be done!

Anyway, here are some pics of the general events over the last month or so.